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May 31, 2012
i’m going to a drag show in nyc tomorrow night for a bachelorette party! i’m going to the mall tomorrow morning to get as many funny penis shaped novelties as i can.
May 31, 2012
(Source: til-the-ocean-takes-us-all, via crimsonlullabies)
May 31, 2012
(Source: heroes-without-capes, via iswearweareinfinate)
May 30, 2012
Walking home after a girls’ night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman’s husband phones the second woman’s husband, furious: “My wife came home last night without her panties!” “That’s nothing,” says the other. “Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, ‘From all of us at the fire station, we’ll never forget you.’”
May 30, 2012
(Source: hallucihoop, via justcallmealoser)
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